A Cool Morning in North Georgia

The coolness in the air seems to linger a little harsher this morning in North Georgia. These mornings, spent in a place he loved, are the mornings that make me long for my grandfather...at any moment he will walk through the back door...out here to the porch swing and say those ever-familiar words "good morning, son! You sleep good last night?"...The sun is creeping over the far tree line, and my day will begin soon,  but it just doesn't seem to numb this emptiness I feel.

There is a stump to my right that he began cutting on last July...A Briggs and Stratton motor that he had torn apart in his workshop that he never had a chance chance to fix...time may move on for us, but here at this second home, in what my grandmother affectionately refers to as "God's County", time seems to have stopped for him.

As I near my bachelor's graduation in 2 months, the trial of marking this occasion is one that I ponder often. While my grandparents had 3 blood grandchildren (and many honorary grandchildren and great grandchildren, thanks to my sister and I) I was the only blood grandson...Our bond was unimaginable. The diploma would have seemed worthless in my hand compared to the large smile that would have been on his face, if he could have been there...now I will face the day with a void...The void of my grandfather. 

The sun is up now, and I need to run to the grocery store. While the music and laughter of my everyday life tend to hide the "tracks of my tears"...The emptiness remains.  I am coming to terms with the fact that this is life.

" 3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
-Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

Change

In the past 5 years or so the word "change" has had quite the dose of its own medicine. I myself have been noticing this a lot lately...President Barack Obama used this word as a simple one-word slogan for his campaign in 2008, and slowly began the vicissitude of "change". Those feeling strongly in their political beliefs began despising the word, as if it were offensive, or loving the word without considering its meaning. "Change" no longer just meant the switching of clothing, or painting an object a new color..."change" now represented a movement of national proportions. And, on a personal level "change" began an evolution in its own way.

Growing up I always embraced "change". At a young age "change" was typically positive, Going to a different school meant the possibility of re-uniting with old friends, or mom and dad getting a pool installed was really cool, or finally getting to the age that you could paint your room any color you wanted made you excited and proud...but as I got older and more mature, "change" became more complex...choosing a college wasn't necessarily a fun "change" as it represented a decision that would impact the rest of my life. Getting a job wasn't just something to do after school anymore, but something that would go on a resume for all future employers to see and the skills I would gain from this job suddenly became important...a car went from something sporty and cool, to something that got good gas mileage, and (wait for this one...) could possibly transport MY future family (yeah...let that sink it...I can't)...Grandparents are aging at an alarmingly fast rate, friends are getting engaged, and suddenly hanging out isn't fun anymore, and...and...and....
....and suddenly you find yourself at a pinnacle point in life..."Change" evolved from something new and fun into..."Growing Up" and embracing it suddenly becomes difficult.

The song "Everything Changes" by Lonestar has become hard to play lately. It rings all too true; Tifton has had its fair share of "change" lately, as has my personal life...so I find myself, at 23...preparing to finish my undergraduate...facing different job offers...bracing myself for alarming "changes" with family members and friends...and I am asking myself "Does this get easier?"...Do we ever learn to understand "change" or does it begin to happen at such a fast rate you can't afford to stop and think about it?

I may never know the answers to those questions, but I was reminded of something today... I ran into and old family friend in the grocery store. She knows my grandparents very well, and knows the hardships we are beginning to face with them, and as I told her of how we are preparing for the worst, she looked me dead in the eye and said..."You have to have faith, Randy. Even if it is just an inkling, always remember that all you need is the faith of a mustard seed", and with that I am attempting to turn over more of my challenges to faith, and learn to accept the outcome no matter what it may be. This may not be an easy thing for a control freak like myself, but I am slowly learning that if you try to beat the outcome of every situation you will only drive yourself insane...
...Change is, after all, inevitable.

Welcome to the South

I had the opportunity a few days ago to witness something rare and spectacular...It was a South Georgia Sunset. As I prepared to meet some friends for dinner I found myself with a few minutes to kill, and as I walked outside I noticed the sun beginning to set...so I decided to chase it. To properly "chase" a sunset you only need a few things...A sunroof, your favorite music, and an open country road. With 80's music playing just a little too loud, I departed into the western countryside of Tifton watching the sun digress into the distance, and waited for the perfect moment, and it was on the side of that country road that I found it....

Upon taking this photo I began pondering a question that had been asked of me in a class..."Why Tifton?". So, on my way back into town I thought to myself how this very moment, this time of just myself and the open road, with a beautiful, one-of-a-kind sunset, is the essence of "Why Tifton?" Where else will you find yourself with the opportunity to chase a sunset, or meet some of the friendliest people in the world, or be able to take a moment out of a crazy day to simply step outside and just breathe? While Tifton is often regarded as just a small, weird town...it is really so much more than that...It is a place where people know you by name, and know who "your people" are. It's where local fare beats out the new chain restaurant every time  and your friends are just a phone-call and a block away. It's where you can see your family doctor, and insurance agent every Sunday morning in Sunday-school. It's more than just a small town...It's home...and just not for me...for everyone that take that exit ramp, and finds themselves captivated by the town's charm.

So the next time you find yourself feeling down, I urge you to ride into the country between 7 and 8 pm and catch a sunset, or visit the local restaurant to see friends and familiar faces, or simply step outside to look into the vast blue sky, and take in some of that fresh south Georgia air...because this is what makes the south the best place to live...its what living is all about; taking in the small things. 

In The City

As I rested in the lounge chair that paralleled the infamous Peachtree Street I found myself enthralled with the magic of the city. The lights that shown from the theater across the way seemed to mimic the same twinkle in my own eye. Cars rushing by, hot coffee poured by the attentive waiter, the thought of a weekend of endless activity captivated me in the way Christmas does a child. I was indeed smitten with the fast paced life of Atlanta.

A quick three day exploration in the city had me begging for more. Fabulous restaurants, thought-provoking museums. entertaining shows, and enough shopping venues to never see the same thing twice. The thoughts rushed to my brain like blood to a bruise..."How neat would it be to reside in the city! To work and play the city life!" 

As I saw the last of the 20+ storied buildings fade in the sunset-filled distance I found a new emptiness within myself, needing to be filled with this city life again, but at that moment a playlist of soft R&B would have to do. 

But, as tides change, so did my longing. You see, In the same way that big cities entice, small towns comfort. I entered my home church Sunday morning, still needing to feel this air of the city around me, but as soon as I swung the door open, a warm feeling gave me a hug of comfort. "Happy Birthdays!" filled the room with excitement. Hugs and questions abounded me in a way that usually only happens in movies. I was loved. As that day, and the days following, progressed the feeling of encouragement and warmth embraced me in a most caring fashion.  The knowledge that the majority of the  people in this small town recognized my existence, and took the small time out of the day to say "Happy Birthday" is a feeling that no amount of shopping and twinkling lights can fill. Seeing my friends and family want to share in my celebration will never be topped by any off-broadway production. And most of all, feeling the love of family as you blow out your birthday candles while the sweetest 3 year old rests in your lap is a feeling that compares to nothing. 

So even though the idea of living a bustling city life can enthrall a person for a few days...the idea of having friends and family close by, and watching my "Niece" and her new, growing baby sibling (due in 7 months) grow up is a feeling that fills my whole life...and it is something no amount of Brooks Brothers polo shirts can ever become equal too. 

To everyone who helped make my 22nd birthday special, I thank you. I has been a truly memorable week. I love each and every one of you. 

Staying on the Tight-rope

A bead of sweat forms at your brow line. You cannot move to wipe it...any sudden movement and you plummet 9 feet to the ground. You step gingerly ahead, hands protruding as eagle wings, keeping you in balance. Balance, that is the key.

Life is like walking a tight rope. 

For a person's life to go smoothly, everything has to be in balance: diet, friendships, time. etc. Everything must work smoothly and in harmony. Any slight skewing from the balanced proportion and everything comes tumbling down. If you spend too much time with one friend, others in your life feel shorted.  If your diet gets out of balance, you balloon up like a blimp (trust me....its not easy to get it off), and if you don't balance your time, important moments get away from you. Soon, you start considering all the aspects you have to keep balanced and suddenly.....you're overwhelmed. 

Life isn't easy...never was intended to be. But the key to holding everything together is this...Take life lightly...if you consider it too heavily you will only depress yourself. Just as keeping things balanced...if you think about it to hard, you only end up failing. You only get one life, and once it is over, its over. 

-Is it better to protect yourself, and be pristine at 100 years old while all of your acquaintances are dead...or live a more thrilling life, and take more chances? 

I have a sign hanging in my kitchen that reads as follows:

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out proclaiming, 'Wow, What a Ride!'"

With that said, I urge you, as we approach the weekend (and beginning of summer for some of you) don't be overwhelmed by life...Take things lightly and have fun....soak up the little moments in life: Enjoy a sunset, take a boat ride with the people you love, make a spontaneous road trip with friends, or just treat yourself to an expensive meal for no particular reason at all, and I promise you after enjoying a free and fun weekend, you will feel more relaxed and easy going than ever before...and remember to skid your tires every once in a  while. 

"...Give Me The Simple Life"

I found out Tuesday that I would once again be an honorary uncle. After a week of complications, two of my best friends found out that their new baby is alive and well, and will be here in January. What can I say, God is Good! Being the enthused uncle that I am, I just had to get the perspective of my 3 year old "Niece" on the recent developments. She told me that the baby (she calls Kelly) came back, and that it was in mommy's tummy wearing cowboy boots (I just love her wild imagination and creativity) Later in the evening as we sat down at a local restaurant she made it known that she wanted to say the blessing. As she progressed in her usual form, she threw the group for a loop when she prayed to God to take care of the baby. It was a moving experience to hear this little girl verbalize such a grown up idea. Being able to watch her grow up, and study her as she grows and begins to understand new things is truly a treat for me...watching her thought process, and hearing her communication abilities grow and develop  really makes me think about my own life and how I often take things for granted. In the fast paced world that we live in each day it is very easy to get caught up in the everyday tasks, and we forget to literally stop and smell the roses. I realize that this post seems very elementary and cliche, but how often do you take time to study a child that is growing up and really get to see how excited they are when they figure out something new, or how any little toy can totally make their day? I guess you could say that this post is an extension of the previous, but it seems that as my day progressed, Alzina Toups life secret of " Simple life; you happy" really began to stand out...I heard the anecdote earlier today of a man who came into quite a substantial amount of money very suddenly, but after 6 months of uncontrollable spending he still wasn't satisfied...he was left with homes full of expensive merchandise that required pampering and constant upkeep...and in the long run it just created a world full of stress, and no easy way out. So, I guess the moral of today's events is this:

          Sure, the luxury automobiles, technologically advanced homes, and grand toys (boats, planes, etc) are wonderful to have, but are they really worth the headache? For myself, in the long run, I think not...but that's for each person to decide on their own...but for me, right now, the only luxury I need is a big coloring book, a whole lot of crayons, and one bright eyed 3 year old who thinks I am the "Bomb-Shinizzle" and I will be as happy as a fat kid eating cake. 

Maiden Voyage

In an effort to mark a new beginning for myself, I have decided to start a blog. Call me crazy for throwing one more iron in the fire, but social networking outlet just wasn't doing it for me anymore.There are certain times when one just needs to chill and decompress after a long day. This used to be my social networking time but, seeing as I needed a change, I no longer had a venue to waste away a small amount of time at the end of each day, So this will be my first attempt at filling this new-found void in my day-to-day routine. My musings, however interesting I may find them, will admittedly be random and pointless at times, but I hope that they will keep my followers (given that I will eventually have "followers") on their toes.

First, a little about myself. I am a southern college male in his early twenties. I am about as unexpected as they come seeing as I fit no social stereo type that is directed at my demographic. I consider myself "well-rounded" in that I have a passion for literature, fine food and clothing, and I can be a big sucker for a good movie. I also consider myself a novice purveyor of the arts, if you can call someone who enjoys seeing a good play every-now-and-then, and has a thriving passion for photography a purveyor...I enjoy cooking a good meal for friends, and on the annual occasion a fun weekend of deep sea fishing. I have a fetish for automobiles, especially those of a German pedigree from the 1980's and 90's ( My dream car is a 1980's Mercedes 560SL)  I am also fascinated by men's wrist watches, and one day hope to have a ridiculously obscene collection of watches. I love the state of Georgia, and enjoy traveling it at every chance I get; St. Simons Island is one of my favorite places in the world. After much internal arguing I have finally set my career path on small town government and politics. I love my hometown, and the idea of running it one day really gets me going. I enjoy the bachelor life, and eventually have the plan to settle down with the traditional wife and kids scenario, but right now I am enjoying my life to the fullest. Two of my best friends are a married couple who have blessed me with a very sweet and, much to my delight, mischievous 3 year old "Niece". It is truly a blessing watching her grow and learn and sometimes even let her curiosity get the best of her. As for my other friends, I have a vast array of cohorts ranging in age from 20 to 60, and however random they may be they are my friends and each on of them brings something special to my life. Growing up I couldn't have asked for a better family. I have a Father and Mother who have supported my every move, and who have loved each other unconditionally for over 30 years. I wouldn't be the man I am today if it wasn't for them. I also owe some credit to my Aunt and Sister who taught me everything my parents couldn't. My parents also brought me up in a strong christian home, and hold my values close to my heart, some may call it being prudish...I call it well mannered. But, that's enough about me...On to new enlightening subjects.

As I stated earlier I am a bit of a literature buff, and with that title comes the nasty little obsession of surrounding yourself with mounds of literary material. Every room in my house has a random stack of books or magazines ready to take that needy mind to far away places. My most recent periodical acquisition is Garden and Gun magazine; a fascinating magazine dealing with all things southern. The recent issue dealt with barbecue restaurants and travel. Among its slick and enticing pages I found an article about a little old lady near the Bayou Lafourche who's outlook on life is as insightful as her eccentric cooking methods. Alzina Troups is a spunky 84 year old grandmother who has a passion for cajun cuisine, and enjoy's sharing it with others. I Alzina's methods and stories very intriguing, but what caught my eye most was her theory on life
                                                        "Simple Life - Be Happy"
When my eyes grazed over this morsel of wisdom, I had to stop and ponder this ideal to myself. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me. The less complicated we, as humans, make things the less happy we are. Fancy cars and electronics only need constant pampering and fixing. The bigger the home, the more time it takes to clean, and the more complex we make our day to day life the harder it is to keep the routine going. So as embark on the rest of my life, I will keep Alzina's words close to heart, and maybe my complicated life will be a little less complicated.

- Randy